Sweaty Drinkin'

Chris  0:01  
LaShawn Columbus, thank you for listening to tipsy talking. We talk drink and have a great time doing it. So you should have a great time tuning in. We're not professional tasters. But that doesn't stop us from trying new things. So grab a glass and relax.

Three weeks it's been three weeks since the last episode of tipsy talking. There was a little bit of unprecedented hiatus there were some dangerous events thrown in there. And you know what? I was supposed to celebrate those dangerous events at a non alcoholic episode last week but we're gonna do

Lenny  0:52  
it this week would would welcome back folks.

Chris  0:56  
Welcome back to tipsy talking. My name is Cristian and we got

Lenny  0:59  
this is Lenny once again dude. In reality I think you might as well just make me official official official co host of the evening

Chris  1:07  
buck. We got fucking Lenny back again. I don't know how I feel about this.

Lenny  1:11  
Welcome back folks start react clappers.

Chris  1:13  
So as I mentioned, it has been there's been some crazy events and we're going to talk about in this episode, but this episode is gonna be a little bit different it it was previously planned to be fully non alcoholic, but you know what, we got some Corona premieres to sip on while we do this episode. Why waste like water? You want to tell them what we're going to be doing?

Lenny  1:32  
Oh my god. So folks, let me just explain to you something about myself. And I try not to get into personal details about my life, but I can't do spicy for an Italian man that cooks with minimal spices. I know booze all over the place. We are going to be doing a hot wing challenge episode.

Chris  1:50  
Yeah, so if anyone's ever seen like hot ones, have you watched Have you ever watched some hot ones on YouTube?

Lenny  1:56  
Isn't there like a licensure thing where you can't say hot once?

Chris  2:00  
Now you would say we're good ones. So there's like there's a there's a YouTube series called hot ones where the you know, they give famous people, different sauces to try in different ways while talking. And that's what that's what we're going to do. I figured it'd be fun because of a certain event that we'll talk about in a little bit. But I just thought it'd be fun to have a taste testing beers. We'll just taste some of the sauces that we got because there was a new store that opened up in the mall pepper palace,

Lenny  2:23  
pepper palace. Shout out to Staten Island's very own pepper palace.

Chris  2:27  
Apparently they're all over the place.

Lenny  2:30  
Nevermind, you guys, but we still love Staten Island.

Chris  2:33  
So we picked up we picked up three crazy sauces that we're gonna try. And also at the end, I have a special drink that goes into the that goes that plays well into the theme

Lenny  2:44  
and plays well into that. Should I be scared? Am I going to be able to feel my country should be scared? Am I not going to be able to speak?

Chris  2:50  
I think we're gonna be I think we're gonna be using the toilet a lot tomorrow.

Lenny  2:54  
This is going to be one scary episode on tipsy talking. Or tipsy wilden

Chris  3:01  
tipsy tipsy Wallen. I don't know about that one.

Lenny  3:04  
That really sucked on my part. Nevermind. Back to you folks. Hot and tipsy. Tipsy. Yeah, I like that one.

Chris  3:12  
Tipsy and sweating. Oh no sweat.

Lenny  3:14  
sweaty, sweaty drinking, sweaty drinking.

Chris  3:16  
Alright. Welcome to an episode of sweaty drinking. So here's the game plan. We're gonna we bought some plane wings. We're gonna try the sauce on the wings. We're gonna try to sauce by Actually, no, here's the game plan, right? We're gonna try to sauce by itself. First, we're just gonna take a little dab of the sauce. Try it by itself. And then we're gonna try it on the wings. Okay. After we try the sauce. After we eat our wing or first wing, we're going to tell the story how you will go first and then I'll go and then you'll go and then I'll go.

Lenny  3:42  
Wow, you're giving me the honors of me going first? Yes, story. Yeah, I

Chris  3:46  
need to start off strong. You're better storyteller.

Lenny  3:48  
Do we have enough time for my stories? That's the issue. We'll have time you just shorten them. Then cut some cut some corners, cut some corners, just like you ever told Leonardo da Vinci.

Chris  3:57  
cut some corners. cut some corners. Fine, fine, fine.

Lenny  3:59  
We'll cut some corners.

Chris  4:01  
So the story is that we're going to tell since you know hot sauce, the danger level, the spice level, the heat burn, all the stories are going to tell her we're going to be about dangerous moments in our lives, scary moments in our lives. That really made a sweat. I

Lenny  4:13  
like it a little spooky action going into the fall Oktoberfest here. Can we explain the levels of sources we're going from what? Yeah. Like what

Chris  4:22  
you mentioned it so our first saw our first sauce is actually mild. It's just mild. So should just be a little bit heat. The second one we have is hot. And then we jumped a few levels. And the last one we have is extreme hot.

Lenny  4:35  
See folks the thing that scares me right now about you see, these are average hot sauce bottles. And then the last one that's just extremely hot is this little mini potion bottle that's

Chris  4:44  
it's it's like a chemical vial.

Lenny  4:48  
Yeah, I'm not gonna feel my tongue for a couple of weeks, but it's okay.

Chris  4:51  
I'm gonna tell you the names of that one. When we get when we get to it. It's actually very exciting. I'm so excited for this.

Lenny  4:56  
I see you're like, probably not at the spot right now.

Chris  4:59  
Should we start The first sauce might as well the first sauce is called fisherman's clam chowder hot sauce made by pepper palace. There's not much information about it. Other than that, it's described as a mild hot sauce. I don't have any Scoville units for these. So we're not true hot ones, but you know, that's fine. I don't think there's any scoring units

Lenny  5:19  
a score the score units. Let's go with our own little units when our own little units Yeah, great. Peppers is super spicy. Can't Feel my throat can't feel my tongue can barely see. Yeah, we'll

Chris  5:30  
do the ratings in real time. Yeah, we'll get the peppers in real time. All right, let me open this let me open this kill peppers

Lenny  5:35  
is mild softness that I can somewhat handle but I'm still running a little bit. And one little pepper. My one beloved mini pepper, which I wish every single one of these sauces was is okay, I can have this on a night out. Not a problem. I won't have to worry about going to the bathroom.

Chris  5:54  
So I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna put a little bit on my plate first, before I put it on a wing. You want them just give it

Lenny  5:59  
a little taste man goes a little bit. He practically dipped his entire plate in it.

Chris  6:04  
I'm just gonna use my pinky here to just get a little taste. That's a little bit. That's a little bit. I'm just gonna get get a little bit on my pinky here. Here you go. Close the bottle. There's some stuff in there.

Lenny  6:13  
Where are you doing the quick dab technique.

Chris  6:16  
The quick dab technique. You're gonna dab it on a paper towel on and on metallic. Oh, hombre.

Lenny  6:21  
Only the true professionals. Oh, wow. I can actually handle this a kick.

Chris  6:25  
Oh, there's the kick. That's mild though. Okay, I'm gonna try it on the wing. I'm gonna I'm gonna slap this on the wing. And give it I'm gonna douse the wing. Now you really taste

Lenny  6:35  
the cleverness.

Chris  6:36  
I can actually

Lenny  6:37  
I taste the sea.

Chris  6:39  
I actually can it is a little bit visually. You guys get to hear us eat.

Lenny  6:45  
Oh, that's the thing. We're not very quiet. Eat it. Now like that annoying type at the restaurant where you really don't want to sit next to this. I

Chris  6:52  
guess tomorrow. We're gonna get every every to everybody. I don't care. This episode is a freebie. I will it's just an episode I wanted to do. It wasn't planned out.

Lenny  7:02  
I like this a lot. Actually. It was

Chris  7:04  
very acidic. And I know I'd wait. I know it's hot sauce. But i mean uh, I mean like, it's very citrusy. But you know it is clam chowder. I guess. clam chowder hot sauce.

Lenny  7:14  
So I am the biggest fan of this one right now. you'll absolutely love it. And I don't think anything else is gonna tell.

Chris  7:21  
I don't think I don't think it's anything special.

Lenny  7:23  
I mean, sure, just shut my dreams down just quick and quick like that. That's for wingwai we have 2468 who do we appreciate and nine

Chris  7:32  
left? Nine. There. I'm I'm wondering if I want to do

Lenny  7:36  
to each Yeah, I think that's a bold move.

Chris  7:40  
I'm going to do it. That first one was too tiny anymore. With labor. I'm really gonna Dallas this one.

Lenny  7:45  
I got I got a real kick on that one. Yeah, I felt the real pepper. You got to tell

Chris  7:49  
your story after your, your wing they are after your second wing.

Lenny  7:53  
Oh, hold on one second, folks. Because

Chris  7:57  
it's not that bad. I mean, it's a little spicy, but it's not. It's not so bad.

Lenny  8:00  
I just got kicked in the balls a little bit.

Chris  8:04  
Lenny's a lot more sensitive to heat than I am.

Lenny  8:07  
I just, I'm not used to it. This is a brand new novel experience that I'm having on a talk show. So this is gonna be this is just gonna be interesting. I have a dangerous dangerous note.

Chris  8:17  
whether it's good or bad. I'm still gonna upload it. But

Lenny  8:19  
dude, has anything I created with you been bad yet? No, actually. I'm just saying. I feel like we make a pretty perfect duo. If there's a comment section on your thing. Comment below if you want to kick me out. 50 stars. 50 stars and I'm out. 100 stars. I'm in swing

Chris  8:38  
right. Now go ahead, Khan.

Lenny  8:42  
I was just gonna start off with my story real quick. Oh, you're gonna have to beg a little bit for that one.

Chris  8:47  
Not be begging my paper towels. Alright, give you Sorry, go. A little spice in your tongue. Oh,

Lenny  8:54  
yeah. My get your my Cortana is moving real quick million miles a minute as we speak. There we go. Now, let's bring this back a couple of years. A couple of high school. Yes. Which is crazy. Our high school story. You ready for this danger at every corner? So when I was in high school, I was on the swimming team. Right? Yeah. And you know, like after every after every practice over there every meet you'd have to go shower. Yeah, I normally shower in a locker room. Right? Like, mostly you guys used to do right? Because he was also on a swim team too. I was I don't know if I might have to give background information like that. Here I am sharing secrets. I don't care. Who knows what this man is a swimmer. Like, like you ever see flipper the dolphin. This is him.

Chris  9:38  
Maybe thick. But you know what? I just make waves.

Lenny  9:42  
But for me, this was the one time I actually so we both went to I know a little puppy. They went to private schools. Oh, god.

Chris  9:52  
Oh god. A little posh. A little posh. Not too much posh because we know I went for free.

Lenny  9:58  
Exactly. We both went Because you show us how we are going to do it now you're bragging but oh my bit back to back to the danger life. So unlike the other rich posh kids who most of us had to take the bus back home and the neighborhood I live in wasn't the best in the area. Now I just say that's an understatement yeah it's a little dangerous so it's the type of neighborhood where you'd lock the doors hide your kids and roll up the windows if you're driving by real slow at night and this one time I just forgot my clothes at home is for true changing so I had to wear my school uniform on the bus which is a big no no on my part because you get targeted real quick for wearing a nice preppy uniform and me being the dumb as I am the senator even put on my school tight fully topped the uniform so little Lenny is just as I was a buck buck 10 maybe 99 pounds Well yeah, I was I was a pretty tiny little little scrawny kid freshman year and with this school uniform I was literally a glowing light to any target that wanted to attack attack me. And by coincidence Guess what? These three guys enter this bus and they sit at the back right? So you can always see at the bus there's like that little mirror that you can overlook the entire bus to see what's going on. And me being the curious guy I am knew or felt you know like when you're being watched you like feel it. I felt it I thought in high heat pun intended. These guys were staying I mean I was looking at them from them you know, so I was like thinking well, I watched Jason Bourne last night so maybe I can pull a fast one on these guys. And I decided to take the exit from the bus a little earlier block earlier from where I usually get off because I know the back streets pretty well I'm assuming these guys don't know the back streets Well, the thing I forgot is I'm not a fast runner. So these guys got off as well and I started a walk pretty swiftly not trying to cause any attention and I realized that they were still following shell mind you I started running they started also running after me. And I'm like zigzagging back and forth back and forth back and forth and I actually feel some form of confidence I'm like man, I can't believe I'm beating these guys there's no way in hell yeah they made me believe they made you believe they made me believe I got I got got in a Halima

Chris  12:30  
got got like Lenny got got like one

Lenny  12:34  
of those friggin I wasn't the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow. I was the fucking turd stain that, Oh, geez. They literally just wipe their feet across. So I make a quick left. I make a quick right and then the last left thinking I completely passed these guys. Boom. There's this big dude standing next to me puffing out his chest being all tough. You'd be like, Why did you run? Why did you smoke 12 packs a day. I did not say that. But still.

Chris  13:04  
defense mechanism, defense mechanism.

Lenny  13:06  
So mind you guys, when I get nervous and shit, I start to face talk and become more of an S, which is not a good trait to have, especially in these situations. So me being the smartass I am I was like, I got nothing in the big, nothing of value nothing for you. And the guy's like, let me see. Let me see. And he pushes me thinking Listen, I also did some boxing and wrestling. During my high school years. I thought that Listen, I thought I was hot shit. I really did. But 99 pound kids soaking wet. I thought I was hot shit. I was like, Oh, I could definitely tackle this guy the floor. So I do a little wrestling takedown. I get the guy on the floor. I'm like thinking All right, what do I do what I do what I do, I'm getting all nervous. I'm getting all nervous. I'm, I'm getting all antsy. And I just kept my face I'm ready to punch him. Boom swift kick to the side of the head. The guys that were with them actually caught up or were just waiting for me at the at the friggin corner and they started beating the living shit out of me. Which is fair enough. I deserve that at that point. The thing that gets fucked up about this whole story is sure they took whatever cash I had, they took my wallet, my little Velcro wallet at the time. And they ripped open my backpack through all my textbooks. They took one textbook, which was actually fucking biology, good for them. Good for them for

Chris  14:26  
wanting to learn. Yeah, they went for those. But the

Lenny  14:29  
thing that was most fucked up is they took my right fucking shoe. And I still have five other blacks to walk. So if you're going to take if you're going to rob a guy to all the murderers, muggers, and kleptomaniacs that are listening in and tuning in tonight. Make sure you take both the guy's fucking shoes at least he's even when he's walking. I decided to keep the left shoe on and just walk the rest of the way. So I was like the hobbit just walking And I already got a weird walk as it is. But just to add on to it. I was making all sorts of noises bloody to the pope had tears in my eyes, and I walk home. I'm like, Oh, I finally made it home. I'm thinking, this is it. This is it. I'm done. I'm good. Next thing you know, a ring the bell. And Papa Sileo comes walking down. Now Papa Sileo just so our viewers know is a big burly man. It's pretty intimidating. If you see him in person. He likes to get a kick out of how intimidating he looks but doesn't look okay. Which is weird. I know. It's a weird comment to say but mind you It's okay. And he looks me up and down. And I see a stain at the stain. Look of disapproval one. I'm like that the head. I think I got mugged. I knew I got mugged, but I feel like I should have said I think I got more so I get it. So I couldn't really give them a definite date on the fact that happened. Now, he looks at me and he goes, the Brazilians don't lose fights. Where are they? I'm like getting all excited. I'm like oh my big burly father is gonna come help me beat the living shit out of these guys so we can get my clothes and shit back. No, papa cilia does this instead. He closes the door in my face, thinking Oh, he's coming right back. Maybe it's putting shoes on and stuff and he walks back down the stairs and opens the door and hands me a baseball bat. And Papa Basu goes the Brazilians don't lose fights. Okay. I'm like, okay, mind you, bloodied teary eyed. 99 pounds soaking wet. looks around and goes. What do you want me to do? Papa? Pa What was I supposed to do? Yeah, well, pa pa

Chris  16:53  
but small and feeble Italian lad literally

Lenny  16:57  
and Papa looks him down and it goes you find those men and you get your stuff back?

Chris  17:02  
Is that the see you

Lenny  17:05  
so Papa Brasilia closes a door I'm with this baseball bat. Shit. What do I do now? So I live next to a gas station down the block which is very convenient for the story to actually occur with. So I decided just take a nice walk down the block not look for these guys that practically beat me to the pope almost broke my arm. Instead, I decided to chill all bloodied up with once Oh, that was the fucked up part. I never got another I didn't put too. He never he made me walk to the gas station with one shoe.

Chris  17:38  
He sent you right back right back right back dirty sock.

Lenny  17:42  
Maybe I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't look at my shoes.

Chris  17:46  
Okay, he didn't realize but still you made the choice to walk back with one shoe is what you're telling me?

Lenny  17:52  
You when Papa says something? Oh, you just go Hugo. Okay. You gotta you gotta just envision this picture. 99 pounds, curly headed kid hanging out with a baseball bat in front of a gasoline station with a ripped uniform. looking sad and angry at the same time and just literally chilling like one of those guys that like the biker gangs that like puts his foot up against the wall and like smoking that chain cigarette. Yeah, that's what I was with a baseball bat and the corner this fucking gas station. And there's these three Mexican dudes looking at me. And, you know, the natural, the natural thing to do is just give a head nod. So I give a heading that they give I had my back. They knew what was up. They knew what happened that night. No one helped. That was one of my dangerous stories for the night.

Chris  18:45  
Was he never got your stuff back.

Lenny  18:47  
here now. I really missed that Velcro while it's older. You again show freshmen in high school. I was about 1413

Chris  18:56  
Were there any was Were there any pictures on this book or wallet? Was it like Darth Vader or something? Was it Goku? It was Goku wasn't it?

Lenny  19:04  
No. It was a Simpsons wallet. It was a Simpsons well, dude, I love that wallet because it was so cool because it had Bart Simpson on it. The skateboard doing like the Cowabunga shit. I was in love with that.

Chris  19:16  
Oh, man. See, here's the here's the problem. My stories. I don't think any of them are as threatening and scary is that I think they're just and they're also not as long so I'm a little worried. Not as one of them is one of them is the first I only have one really scary sweaty story. The other ones are they were just sweaty in the moment. That one was frightening. No, I would not want to be chased and beat down by some bozos.

Lenny  19:41  
I've tried to make it as comedic as possible but it was a dark time for a

Chris  19:45  
little bit chased and beat down by some bows. It's a little lady

Lenny  19:48  
story.

Chris  19:51  
All right, I guess we just go on to the next sauce after you go a story no or no no, that's after the next loss.

Lenny  19:57  
Oh my bed. Look at me folks barely know in the room. Anyway, and then you get

Chris  20:01  
to tell the story again after the after the most painful sauce.

Lenny  20:05  
After the most painful sauce. Oh my god. So you're gonna make me tell one of my most painful stories

Chris  20:13  
that scares me. I don't know what you categorize as one of your most painful stories. It's gotta be it's gotta be dangerous. Gotta be a dangerous,

Lenny  20:21  
dangerous story. I got plenty of dangerous stories. You know what folks will stick with another mugging story if that

Chris  20:26  
was another mugging story. Alright, so our next house is going to be Coco Loco hot sauce. This one has a little bit of words to read. Oh,

Lenny  20:34  
we love words. I think

Chris  20:35  
this is a creamy delicious fire roasted jalapeno hot sauce that will cause you to bust out in praise for awesome this sauces. Because it is so good it will cause you to bust out this hot sauce for every single meal. This sauce is so good. You want to bust it out every single night.

Lenny  20:54  
Dude Now I understand why the lady said this is going to be a shitty sauce. Their marketing team this motion

Chris  21:00  
to me. So I think I think it contains coconuts. And that's why it's called Coco logo and that's like it's a marketing thing. It's like a coconut cream on its eyes. But what's what the busting it's described as hot the other one was mild. This one's hot. What's up with the busting I don't know what's up with the busting I don't know what was good with that. I'm posting on my plate.

Lenny  21:21  
Folks. She was correct as gross at the same time.

Chris  21:24  
Oh my god. I can't tell I'm gonna put it on a wing. I can't tell what it tastes like. These wings are the tiniest wings I've ever seen

Lenny  21:31  
for the money that we spent on them too. They're so small What the hell? We weren't the planet wings

Chris  21:38  
we ordered we ordered plane

Lenny  21:41  
dude she gave us the weirdest look I guess nobody orders plane wings up planet wings. Anyone I guess

Chris  21:45  
well, I mean, there's really no reason to write.

Lenny  21:49  
A top happened not hard at the same time.

Chris  21:51  
I think it's less fat than the other one. I'm kind of disappointed. very disappointed. Actually.

Lenny  21:55  
The problem is the other one had a good kick to it. And I had a hot kick afterwards.

Chris  22:00  
I wanted to be crying. This ain't making me cry. No. I think it is good though. It is a coconut. What do you taste it for the viewers? Because it's it's sweet and Jays like coconut cream?

Lenny  22:13  
Yeah, not really that hot. Not that crazy hot that I was gonna be scared of.

Chris  22:17  
I'm gonna try one more way. Was it?

Lenny  22:20  
Yeah, go ahead, man. We've got time we got plenty of wind.

Chris  22:24  
There's more of like a nightmare kind of scary situation.

Lenny  22:27  
I thought you were talking about the way I was like,

Chris  22:29  
This is more of like a nightmare kind of scary situation. But it was very vivid. was a real? It felt real. And it's kind of spooky. Like it's unpleasant like fall. So I you know, I'm gonna go with that because it was a

Lenny  22:43  
full love of God. Please put halloweentown theme music in this one.

Chris  22:49  
I'm just munching away. There's gonna be so many noises on this podcast. So if you're not with the noises just stop now. There's this isn't gonna be a very refined one. And I'm okay with all we ever refined. Now we really weren't.

Lenny  23:02  
Okay, eloquent. refined.

Chris  23:05  
Here's a I'm just gonna tell this these spooky stories that I think that they made me sweat quite a bit when they happen. Go for it. Have you ever heard of sleep paralysis?

Lenny  23:14  
Oh my god. That's a scary thing. That's where the boogeyman gets you. Yeah.

Chris  23:19  
So sleep paralysis is one you wake up and you feel like you can't move. You can't speak. And you have like, you see things like you basically have like hallucinations. And the scientific reason is that when you go to sleep there's a hormone in your brain that gets released that paralyzes your body so that you don't sleep walk. People who sleep walk don't have an ABA deficiency and this hormone, GABA. It's called GABA. GABA and glycine cause sleep Ross old GABA. So who?

Lenny  23:48  
Feeling it now you can let me fucking talk Sorry, sir.

Chris  23:52  
So there's this hormone in your brain that causes you to be paralyzed when you sleep so that you don't sleep walk. Then there's another hormone that causes you to wake up. When those two things mix. This is the scientific reason you get sleep paralysis. Other people think it's like a supernatural paranormal thing. I'm on defensive. I'm a skeptic and I'm I'm on the fence about other scientists. I'm on the fence about it because it's let me just tell you why. So the first time I had sleep paralysis, I was laying down in my bed here in my room, and I wake up and I realized I can't move and this is the first time it ever happened. So I was I was freaking out. In my head. I was like, Oh my god, what is happening? This must be a nightmare. But then I'm looking around and everything's everything's like one for one. So I'm like, this can't be a dream because everything is so perfectly recreated. I'm looking up and my TV is set up directly across me so I can when I woke up, and I'm looking, it's the first thing that hits my eyes. And because of the light entering my room, it was in the morning, there was a shadow cast by the TV onto the wall. I'm looking at the shadows and all of a sudden these these hands, start reading Now, these hands start reaching out from behind the TV, and they start coming towards me. And then my closet door opens. All of a sudden I start hearing like TV static, right? This is like kind of trippy. So it wasn't that scary. But when it was over the hands went back TV static stopped. I woke up like what a big breakfast. I was like, Oh my god, that was so weird. The second time it happened. I was I was doing homework and I fell asleep on my floor, is I have a carpeted floor. It was comfy, fell asleep, and I wake up, face down, laying on my stomach, and I'm paralyzed again. And I'm like, gosh, shit, not this not this shit again. And then I hear I hear footsteps into my room. Like just and I'm like, I'm like trying to speak I'm trying to go like, like trying to make noise to let whoever was there. No, cuz I'm triggered. My mom is in here. She can help me my sisters in here. She can help me. I just hear voice of a woman go. He sleeping. And then and then the footsteps go back out. As soon as the footsteps leave the room. I I'm able to move. I'm able to move and function. I'm like, Oh, I should go see what my mom or sister wanted. So I go downstairs. My mom sitting on the couch. I'm like, Hey, where are you in my room? She was like, No, I'm like, Oh, you didn't do that come in and say I was sleeping and you didn't like that, wasn't you? She's like, No, I'm like, Okay, well, where's my sister? My mom's like, your sisters in the basement. She wasn't even upstairs. So I go downstairs. I asked my sister. I'm like, Where are you in my room? My sister's like, No, I did not go upstairs. So now I'm just looking around. I'm like thinking to myself. What the fuck? Why? Why heard footsteps. I know it for a fact. I know. I heard footsteps. I know there was a voice. But fine hallucination, whatever right? Now call it good. Call it call it whatever you want to call it you're listening to. That's not the last time of address. So then we go on vacation to my aunt's house down and down in Long Island at the end of Long Island. Yeah, I'm sleeping in our living room. Because there was no, there was no spare bedroom. And the way it's set up is that the living room and the kitchen are connected, but they're different light sources. So I fell asleep with the lights off in the living room, but the lights on in the kitchen. Just because I like light. I'm like, I'm not afraid to admit that I like light. Especially in a new place. So I'm laying down on the couch. And the way I was positioned on the couch is that when I opened my eyes, I can see directly into the kitchen. So I wake up I'm paralyzed. I can the light you know, the lights, I know what's going on. I know what's about to happen. I know what's about to happen. I'm like, Oh, here we go. I wonder what it's gonna be this time. I wasn't ready for listening. It wasn't ready. Am I gonna be scared the lights start flickering in the kitchen area. They go on and off, on and off in here like the like the light going on off. And then light goes off for like 10 seconds. And then I could just hear my breathing just the lights go on. This is decomposing woman, and like a tattered dress, and black like stringy greasy hair. The lights go off again. Let's go on, she's crawling on the ceiling towards me. Let's go off. Let's go on, she jumps down from the ceiling onto my chest and screams in my face. And then the lights go off. Let's go on again. And then I go, and then I'm able to move again. And now see, everyone could just say, Oh, these are just sleep paralysis nightmares. Like they don't mean anything. Like you're not seeing anything like this is the worst one of them all. My freshman year in college, I was good. I'm scared. My freshman year in college I was I was going through some some dark times in my life and I had a quite a few. It seems to me whenever I got more negative in life, I get more sleep paralysis. This is the correlation I have. So freshmen in college, I was probably at my lowest point in a while.

And the way my bed was set up, it was lifted. So I was able to make like an area under my bed. And I was like I was a little bitch and I just like wanted to isolate myself from people. So like, I like made like a little like bed for underneath my bed. And I hit in there and I was like I want to talk to anybody. I'm standing here and I fall asleep underneath my bed. And my own little like bed forte because I didn't want to deal with my room and I didn't want to deal with people. And I was a weird kid. So that's what I did freshman year college. I've wake up looking up at like the bed fragrant. Like there's like a chain like, you know, yeah, I know the frame. Yeah, so I'm looking at this metal bed frame with the mattress on top of it. And I'm like sleep paralysis. Now that's weird, like this is at least I'm in a place where I can't see anything because I'm just looking at the bed frame. Like there's nothing really that could hallucinate, you know, oh, I was wrong. Oh, so wrong. The mattress starts. The mattress starts shaking, slow efforts that I'm like, breathing I'm like, and then then all sudden, it goes the mattress starts slamming loudly louder. And I'm looking at the matches that's going up and down. It's like levitating. Slam, slam slam slam slam. And I'm just like, it's not real. It's not real. It's not real, but bedframe starts shaking. That's like it Second earthquake is happening but only affecting the bed and mattress. And I'm thinking it's not real. It's not real. It's not real. I hear my roommate, go, stop making noise. And then it stops and then I wake up, and I'm able to move. Right? That was so scary to me. Like, it sounds less scary than the previous one. But I did not go back to sleep that night. I stayed up, because I didn't know what like that was so terrifying. And then the worst part is, my roommate wakes up. He looks at me. And he goes, What were you doing to your bed last night? Why are you Why are you jumping on the mattress? And I was like, I was on the bed the whole time. He's like, no, I heard you I told you to shut up you were jumping on on the bed. Stop. Yeah.

Lenny  30:47  
You know what that means? Right? We're taking you to church tomorrow. I might need it holy cow it taking you a church. No, no,

Chris  30:56  
that was years ago ever since then. That was the last one I haven't had I haven't had sleep paralysis episode like that since then. Want to know why my

Lenny  31:04  
because I've taken you under my wink. Oh, is that way Yeah. You're shining the light of an

Chris  31:09  
angel. I know it's not really life threatening but that mean I sweat? Do you not

Lenny  31:13  
see the sweat coming from me? I'm scared that made me sweat.

I'm scared right now.

Chris  31:17  
That was that was that was a truly terrifying moment. You say you're not well, I feel like I feel like it's on the same level as your story, you know, but it was it was definitely skill.

Lenny  31:25  
I'd rather I'd rather have face that every single day than do that. I can't. I can't deal with the whole demons and all that stuff.

Chris  31:34  
It's hard, right?

Lenny  31:35  
I can't do it. I can't do

Chris  31:36  
it. I can't watch it. I can't watch it. Even movies. I can't I can't I

Lenny  31:39  
can't watch the nun. That was the last possession movie I've seen all right back and said not to

Chris  31:47  
that they really I'm sure

Lenny  31:49  
that had some remorse about a nun being a deadly ghost.

Chris  31:55  
They probably did. So we're gonna go on to our next homicides here.

Lenny  31:59  
Can I stop you for one sec real quick? What what's the Vatican cutting out the Wolf of Wall Street but what do you mean? They like they banned it? Yeah, they banned The Wolf of Wall Street from white like movies to watch. I didn't know they could do that. But then again, I think they can. Yeah, look it up, man. When you get a chance.

Chris  32:15  
I'm gonna look it up right now. I'm taking a sidebar so I can look this up. All right, sidebar. They wrote a very nasty letter about it. mazhab banned you goon.

Lenny  32:25  
Wow. I guess I gotta get my facts straight.

Chris  32:30  
That's okay. That's okay. Let's get on to this next

Lenny  32:35  
novel.

Chris  32:37  
I'm scared. This sauce is called the end flatline. It's the picture on the art is it's flatline. It's a heartbeat going out into flatline. It's described as just when you think you've reached the end pepper palace will flatline your taste buds by combining the world's hottest ingredients. Get ready for the combined heat of the hottest sauce that pepper palace has ever has ever offered. So you ready for these? None. Don't look at it. Yeah, I'm gonna read them to you. Reaper peppers. stock goes peppers. Stop Scorpion pepper. Oh, seven pot chocolate do glum peppers.

Lenny  33:14  
Oh, vitamin C,

Chris  33:15  
though. Vitamin C is cost an extremely hot chick. Well, I heard I read reviews of this. It said all you need is a drop one drop. And I said Don't go Don't go above one drop. I'm actually going to start with the wing on this one. And then if I feel like that's like not enough, I'm gonna go with a little taste.

Lenny  33:36  
I am so scared right now.

Chris  33:38  
It says literally, Lenny. Please. Just a drop like literally

Lenny  33:42  
like Dude, I am so scared. This means not kidding. You literally put

Chris  33:45  
a drop like a drop and then just and then just rub it on there. And don't touch your eyes. Oh no. Oh no.

Lenny  33:51  
You touch your eyes. No,

Chris  33:53  
I touched. Oh my god.

Lenny  33:54  
I'm gonna forget I gotta go blind. Are you ready? No, I'm not ready. No,

Chris  33:57  
I'm gonna wait. I need a beer ready? And he already got me one too. Yeah,

Lenny  34:01  
I'm so I'm literally trembling right now.

Chris  34:04  
I'm scared. Oh, no. I touched the bottle cap. And it touched my own. No. Oh, we're in trouble. Why I accidentally took some from the bottle cap. Oh, no. Isn't that spicy? Oh, no. Okay, all right. Ready? No. Let's go. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. have died. Oh, no. No. I'm sweating. Oh, no. Oh, no, wait, I'll do it. I put the smallest.

Lenny  34:44  
Someone helped me. Someone. I need CPR. Oh, that hurts so bad. Imagine they did this. Instead of waterboarding terrorists.

Chris  34:57  
It's not getting better. Oh, it's getting so much worse. I'm gonna get I'm gonna get my I'm gonna go get milk,

Lenny  35:03  
please. Folks, this is not an exaggeration. We're dying right now. We're dying for your views. Oh god. It's still not good.

Chris  35:18  
Oh, it's helping though. Oh, that's so much better.

Lenny  35:24  
Folks. Oh wow. The Chris I leave whatever's in my wall behind it. Did you puke? walking off corner? No.

Chris  35:33  
Why the what's in the left corner?

Lenny  35:36  
No, I'm saying him I will. I'm dying. We are going to pepper palace tomorrow we are letting them know. This should not be sold

Chris  35:51  
to folks. tell your story. tell your story.

Lenny  35:54  
All that folks. I see Jesus you'll be okay.

Chris  35:58  
I've never seen you sweat like this though. Oh, it's all over my hands. Tell you sorry.

Lenny  36:05  
Can you give me a second please?

Chris  36:10  
That was crazy. That was an experience. I've never had to dry. Okay, now what are you up to beers? Lenny's double fisting.

Lenny  36:26  
Instead of high school. We go back another five years. Before actually technically for dude.

Chris  36:43  
Yeah, my people either. What did you do? Well, hi, Maria. spiciest poops. This is gonna hurt. I'm starting. So what time period are we gonna do? What time period are we going to hallucinate? What do you mean? Are you really sauce? It's too spicy.

Lenny  37:12  
I'm in another dimension

Chris  37:13  
right now. No, it actually is. In high enough mounts. It's considered a hallucinogen.

Lenny  37:21  
I see why. It's weird because I shoot who's ever into torture point. This is like the best thing for them.

Chris  37:28  
I really weirdly want more. It's not worth it. Wow. This is like chemical warfare.

Lenny  37:33  
I told you they should waterboard terrorists with this.

Chris  37:36  
Do not touch your eyes. Do not touch your eyes. Why? Or your or do I have to don't touch your eyes. Your deck? Oh yes.

Lenny  37:44  
Why? What's going to happen?

Chris  37:47  
It's gonna burn dude.

Lenny  37:49  
We still have two wings. I'm drooling.

Chris  37:53  
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. To get through it. Dude. Literally Drew. I know your voice is changing to

Lenny  38:01  
hotel happening. Am I turning into a man now?

Chris  38:03  
Yes, this is a pile. This is this is what puberty feels like. Oh, shit. Okay. This is the burning. Burning.

Lenny  38:13  
Come down. I gotta.

Chris  38:14  
I gotta come back. This is the burning passion of adolescence.

Lenny  38:17  
I gotta calm down. I'm I'm in pain, like serious pain. I touched my eyebrows with Oh, no. Oh, no, I did too. I did do with the burnishes to figure out what sizzling on my I son of a bitch. What is this shit?

Chris  38:34  
chemical warfare. I was about to touch my eyeball. And then you said that? Oh my god. My eyebrows sizzling? Like I feel like if I let my dad taste this he'll drop dead. You'd love it. No, like, drop dead. Like he'll die. I feel like if I give this to my father. He could handle it. I think he will die. I think he will die. Like literally I'm not joking. I think if I were to give this to my dad, he would drop dead tomorrow. Today

Lenny  39:02  
is going to be a spicy night. Yeah. My story in the Italian house. I was 10 at the time. And it was the first time ever that

Chris  39:12  
he just took a pen clicked it and tossed it.

Lenny  39:15  
It was the best satisfaction. I've gotten a long time. Anyways, back to the Italian health. Oh my god, dude, when I grow up,

Chris  39:26  
I'm gonna bring this to parties and use it as a party trick. Okay, you're in the Italian hills. When you were like six or seven.

Lenny  39:33  
Dude, that alone is a form of birth control.

Chris  39:36  
You can't you really can't focus right now.

Lenny  39:38  
I I can't tell you a story. tell you a story for the

Chris  39:42  
folks. So you have to you have to it's your turn. You got to do it. It can be short and sweet.

Lenny  39:51  
It's never so anytime he knows. So I used to live in Italy for the folks that don't know For about 10 years of my life and when I lived there I made a good group of friends hooligans, as they say, or Italian hooligans ah the recepies the Joseph peace of the world so let's call it yourself be one and just happy to

Transcribed by https://otter.ai